this is why in h.s. I was most uninterested in having a relationship. Well plus I was in some heavy denial back then.

is that because hate crimes only happen among high schoolers?

no. I was just saying in the area I was going to high school in (which was a bit north of Ventura) it would've been a bad idea. Very small area, very conservative, and I watched the goths/punk/emo get beat up on a regular basis for being "different". Even if I had acknowlegded to myself that I'm gay back then, there woulda been no way in hell I would have come out in high school.

if they had some sort of sensitivity training in high school I imagine most of the would end up crying including the bullies. They have their own demons.

hey, where did you go to high school? this hits home for me too...born in oxnard...raised in ventura...high school in ojai. each community has its own feeling and you're right to point out that being out in some of the areas is a real danger. it shouldn't be that way - i mean it's california for chrissake! but you know, there's a heavy social conservative contingent all across this state, especially in farming zones. (which makes ventura county particularly interesting sociologiy.)

ya know the Santa Ynez Valley in SB county? (most people don't know the geography of the central coast, so I say SB county...I don't think we were even incorporated. And it really isn't all that far from ventura. on a good day bout 45 mins). Ranch/wine/hick country. Not a safe environment to be out in...when almost everyone's pickup had a nice shiny gun rack/confederate 68575/white power symbol. For a small community it seemed like there was a much higher proportion of racist/sexist/homophobic people than there should have been.

thought you said you were from Bakersfield not Oxnard

I lived in Bakersfield the first 15 years of my life. Then moved to the Coast (SY Valley, which is north of Santa Barbara) when I was in my Junior year of H.S. Then I moved to Chico to go to college. Now I live in PHX. And there are a couple of other places but I didn't stay in 'em very long.

yep. crazy pockets of crazy people around there

i think in high school it's not always a fear of hate crimes. i can't think of a time when i was more vulnerable. just throwing that out there. i think at any point in anyone's life it is understandable to have issues with coming out. in my opinion, even more so in high school.

complicated This can be such a difficult situation. I have a student who identifies as gay and sometimes he does his nails and such. He was talking about being bullied, and I really didn't know what to do. I told him after class that if he needed someone to talk to, he should come to me, but I didn't think that me standing up for him was really the right solution, it could also give the impression that he runs to the teacher for help. Snitch is about the worst thing you can be in the 9th grade here. One of the students he was talking to is a bit of a dyke, so she decided to 'protect' him. What do you do when the solution to one problem creates another?

You can address this to your students without singling anyone out. You could, for example, talk about bullying people for being "different" without ing attention to any particular differences. You could also add that you've noticed bullying at your school without saying that anyone has talked to you. This student came to you because he wants (and needs) you to do something.

In an effort to understand the forum better, why would I have gotten negged so much for posting this?

I wouldn't read too much into those negs, pop. If you notice, just about every post in here lately has been earning a neg point or two, for no apparent reason. A -x is just three people most likely, and out of the who-knows-how-many people that read this forum, that's really not a lot.

I doubt very much they're from regulars well, maybe a few of the red sprinkles are from regulars who disagree with posting long articles, or who think posts talking about violent crimes need a disclaimer - but I think most of us are with you on this one, and most of the negs are troll poop. (breaking my usual silence on neg discussions)

troll poop. Thanks for the responses. Just wanted to make sure I didn't commit some faux pas I didn't know about and of course want to keep in good standing with the regs :).

sounds like we're a sorority! ew. :)